I've been thinking a lot about life lately. Big, I know. And no, it's not because of the new year. It started a few weeks before that. Actually more than a few weeks, but it all sort of culminated a few weeks ago.
To put it completely bluntly: I don't much enjoy life.
I'm tired all the time.
I don't like my job.
I can't see more than a week into the future....if that.
I have random pains from my wrist to my knee to sometimes, when my stress level skyrockets, my chest.
I went to see a doctor and they pretty much told me it's all in my head, which has more or less been the answer to all of my life's ailments as far as doctors are concerned. I have very little faith in them these days.
So I've decided it's time to do something about it, about this "crappy" life I have where I don't feel good....ever, really.
But where in the world do I start?
I tried the doctor. That didn't work.
Should I quit my job? Take a leap of faith that I can make enough money writing and taking pictures? Naw, too risky at the moment when we have rent to pay and a largeish credit card balance. Besides, my job allows me to see my precious little nephew a few times a week. It can stay....for now.
Should I give in to my exhaustion and just sleep when my body wants sleep? I don't think so on that front either. I get a decent amount of sleep each night...at least 7ish hours usually, so I don't think my body feels fatigued because it hasn't had enough sleep.
Like I said, I've been pondering this for a few weeks now, and last week while perusing Amazon for....I don't even remember now....I came across Alicia Silverstone's book, "The Kind Diet." I know it's been out for a few years, and I've actually considered reading it before now, but I read a few negative reviews and I was never entirely interested in becoming vegan, so I just sort of left it at that.
Well, you know how Amazon has that feature where you can "peek" inside the book and check out a few select pages? I did that. And that led to me ordering it and receiving it today and spending the last three hours (holy crap, how is it already almost 7 pm!?) entirely engrossed. She seems to think that changing my diet is a miracle cure for all of my life's woes. And you know what, I may just be desperate enough to try it out.
She has some good points, and I'm already a believer in the meat free lifestyle (duh). So what's the harm in giving it a try? In the first section of the book, she talks about "nasty" foods, one of which is dairy. I happened to cut most dairy out of my life last week. As I was reading the section, she says that a lot of people suffer poor breathing, stuffy noses and allergy-like symptoms when they're "on" milk. I took a deep breath and came to a realization: MY nose was clear. My seemingly chronic stuffiness had disappeared. I hadn't even noticed, but it made sense!
So I'm reading the book (I also got another one called "The Happiness Diet," but I figure I'll fill my brain with one philosophy at a time), and I'm going to give some of her ideas, recipes and insights a whirl. I'll let you know how it goes. I've got nothing to lose right? And plenty to gain. I can't even remember what it feels like to have energy.
Along with changing the way I eat, I feel it's important to take note of how I feel. I think I've grown so accustomed to just ignoring myself that I'm not sure I even know how to listen anymore. So, per Kris' January Glam List at i heart wellness, I plan to spend a few moments after I wake up just writing down whatever comes to my head. My plans for the day, what my mood is like, how I'm feeling. And then I'll go from there.
I can do this. I know I can.
I can be the me I want to be, the me I'm meant to be.
Wish me luck!