There. I said it. Phew, I feel such relief!
But now I suppose I must explain before someone starts ranting about the benefits of staying active.
My biggest Don't-judge-me-I-have-good-
I know that the most obvious answer is "Well, Steph. If you exercise more your body will get used to it and it'll be more happy with you." And I know, I know. I don't not exercise. Don't get me wrong. I get my butt moving as often as I can, especially knowing that I will probably justify my way out of going to the gym: Jim's home so I want to spend time with him. I have to cook dinner. The apartment needs cleaning. I must catch up on my correspondence.
And I do go to the gym...sometimes. And we do ride our bikes....sometimes. And take walks after dinner....sometimes. And I have Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred...which I haven't done in, well, months, to be honest.
But I try. I know I don't try hard enough, but I do. I am loving cruising Pinterest for inspiration. This is one of my current faves:
To me, it's far more "doable" than spending an hour at the gym doing cardio and weights and whatever else. And these are easy to spread out. Sometimes I'll do them in my office at work (when no one else is around, of course!). Sometimes I'll do them while I'm waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle because if I leave and start something else, I know I'll completely forget about the laundry.
This morning I woke up, did some stretching, some crunches, some pushups, a few yoga poses. Mornings are SO hard for me, I can barely get myself to the bathroom right when I wake up...and all I have to do to get there is swing my feet off the bed and take two steps!
But I still feel guilty for not putting in a good amount of time sweating my ass off. And I'm starting to think maybe that's more me not giving myself a break than me not doing anything good for my body. I mean, at the end of the day, I can only do as much as I can do, right?
I'm still hoping that when I get this fatigue thing figured out, I'll be able to do more. The #1 reason I hate exercise is because I always feel so exhausted...at the end of the day...at the beginning of the day...and pretty much every moment in between. And exercise doesn't seem to give me energy like it should. I finish a workout and feel more sleepy than when I started!
Hopefully this week I'll be able to get in to see my mom's doctor and start to get some answers. Until then, I suppose I'll continue doing pushups and lunges in my office when no one is looking.